Is Beyonce pregnant? Confirmed, but for her father

Sources near to the hip-hop R&B superstar singer have said that “Beyoncé pregnant confirmed" will not be a headline you see in legitimate news publications, at least for the moment. It's merely gossip, possibly wishful thinking on the part of Beyonce and Jay-Z fans, but certainly nothing malevolent. The truth is that Herman Knowles, Beyoncé’s 58-year-old father, is expecting a child – but not by Beyoncé’s mother, Tina Knowles. Their 30-year marriage concluded in November 2009, when they filed for divorce. Fathering children outside of wedlock tends to cause divorce, kids. Divorce tends to cause an excessive need for payday loans. The cash you save could be your own, so learn well, young ones.

So Beyonce pregnant confirmed isn't actually confirmed, right?

However, the truth will never get in the way of a good Internet rumor, does it? A source "close to the couple", as reported by Buzzcrunch, claimed that "the singer recently got the great news and has decided to rest a bit.” Again, it sounds possible, except we now know that "Beyoncé pregnant confirmed” has been denied by her own people. Matthew Knowles' love child was conceived in the course of his marriage with Tina Knowles, and now his people are shooting for damage control. Both Beyonce and Solange must be proud. If you can imagine them filming a commercial promoting the virtues of military personal loans, you likely are able to imagine them hanging out with baby mama Alexandra Wright, dishing men and having a grand old time.

What do you know about Matthew Knowles' baby?

The Daily Inquirer says that DNA tests have established paternity of Mr. Knowles. Nixon is the newborn's name, and the mother, Alexandra Wright, has been with Matthew Knowles for about 18 months now. Leading former Major League outfielders Trot Nixon, Donnell Nixon and Otis Nixon, this Nixon is officially probably the most famous living Nixon now. The other famous Nixon guy had his fans, especially at the Watergate Hotel. But this one can no longer react to press inquiries.